So how can i tell im gay?

i mean like i keep getting f*** over everytime i date someone..sorry bout the f word...but is it really hard to find someone to love me??..I'm a good gf i dont cheat or lie..i dont rush things...i dont wanna be used anymore..ive been with both but i favor..idk..i like butch s...and i love body buliding men...but the grosses me out like it makes me wanna puke..i just like thier bodys...and i wanna butch cuz i cant deal with the femmie ones...so is it really that hard 4 some1 to love me?